#who sees the vision chat cuz i do

[facefullofsadness]

the wars I would fight and the planets I would destroy for this face, the universes I would conquer to make room for her empire, truly a woman I would lay my life down for 🧎‍♀️🫡

[therealslimshakespeare]

🍸 Harry Crosby headcanons

18+ -helluva lot of nsfw under the cut but interspersed with a lotta fluff and domesticity…to me that’s the appeal of this man, cannot be separated one from the other: the unassuming sweater wearing vet at the block party is also a man of hidden depths.

Long promised and woefully incomplete, the word count was getting out of hand so I’m tossing it out, there’s more where this came from. Not edited so, apologies

Entirely co-written by myself and my comrogue @crazymadpassionatelove , enhanced and bedazzled by chats with @ab4eva including special additions from other guests who commented under my announcement post, credit is given at each specific point for their contributions

|screencap cred grabbed from: @hawkinsfuller

First off let me say it’s been ages since I read A Wing and A Prayer. I remember loving it, loving him and I cannot stress how much I respect and admire the real Harry Crosby and his Jean, the Missus of our dreams.

This is purely for fun, a heavy mix of both Boyle’s portrayal and a tad of Crosby’s real life vibes as taken from his accounts by me. Sometimes you gotta take historical figures’ virtues in one area -say navigation and math- and translate it to the more suggestive aspects of life -say, how to find a clitori- *gunshot*

Because this man’s biography is the most oral-leaning, drink-your-respect-women-juice book ever. Ok, almost ever. For a wwii book at least. Uhem so -I am prejudiced, sue me.

See, sometimes it’s the quiet, stressed ones with a self consuming desire to please who have the cozy sweaters and the attentive appreciation for your interests and the stubby fat schlongs and the propensity to keep you in suburban comfort all your days

The compulsive drive to call you “button” and be on time for church and thank you for your scrambled eggs each morning with eager kitchen countertop oral before waking you children up with annoyingly soft catchphrases they’ll recite fondly at his funeral: “rise and shine” etc

Also back to the perfectly respectable schlong for just a moment -This is a Thing! Justice for the perfectly adequate plug stoppers, not everyone needs a rolling pin, who can resist giving head when the head is the same gorgeous color as his lips?!

Mr Crosby is skipping off to lecture college kids about literature post-war with a pep in his step that you put there without fail, you can’t help it, it’s as essential as the matching “his and hers” coffee mugs you bought during your honeymoon

Cookies slightly burned cuz you’re busy as bunnies in the bathroom while the kids ride bikes in the cul-de-sac is a Crosby staple

This is a man who as husband keeps you well supplied with mixers and microwaves and cute little nighties and also loves your brain -SCORE.

Loves to gift you with bath oil and fun stuff to smell good. He's into lavender. It benefits him in the end, loves to sit on the edge of the tub and just talk with you for ages

Croz’s go-to distresser is to have Jean sit on his face until his vision spots

She knows as soon as he walks in the door. Fixes him a Shirley Temple, takes him by the hand to the bedroom and …..boom.

De—stressed

As for the ptsd nightmares? He just barely starts to thrash in his sleep and Jean is rolling that man over and taking matters into her own hands

You’re Jean now, you do realize that don’t you? It was never ever going to be anyone but Jean

This man leaves love letters on your pillow, in your apron pocket, in the dash of your car anywhere at all that you’re likely to be. All of this even though he’s gonna be home by six that evening.

Also, hear me out: lots of evenings he just lays down next to you for ages, facing each other on your sides, absentmindedly mapping your body with his calloused palms and fingering you for ages while talking about Persuasion.

Actually gives a shit about your opinions too, and not in the way of wanting to argue them. When you make a good point his eyes get even droopier and he grabs your neck and…

“You're one smart cookie Mrs Crosby”

“My clever, wise, beloved…”

Honestly though, deep connections and the ability to go vulnerable, and if those moments are often concluded with little laughs to shake off the moment -it doesn’t diminish it

Can actually talk about dying to you, not in a morbidly preoccupied way, but he can face it and admit it and be vulnerable enough to acknowledge the likelihood

Then get on with what needs doing

He appreciates how well you grow to know him, and he in turn makes a lifelong study of you

Also, this man is so highly attuned to your well being.

Yes you have to put up with his stress but for you? He will man-up repeatedly and without thought. He doesn’t even think twice about just up and leaving whatever situation is tiring you. did you see him hop up to get the fuck outta that bar fight? Yeah so, you’re bored? Tired? Stressed? It’s not even machismo it’s just a homebody not giving a fuck with the subtext of “my wife and I would like to go home and read and cockwarm”

Often gives the shiftiest excuses to army buddies and coworkers just to go home and hang with you, swears he has to repair that squirrel feeder -or that an alligator is in his swimming pool, “sorry guys maybe drinks next week”

Don’t tell the guys but…HE PAINTS YOUR TOENAILS

Maybe some of your high school friends snickered about Harry Crosby way back when. Making googly eyes at you and barely getting out the most stammered greetings? Bookish and a little clumsy at times?

Ha, you won in the end

He comes home in one piece, that beautiful schlong still intact

you prayed for that ok?

“Lord keep my husband safe -- and his girthy manhood in tact as well” …for the babies you’re hoping for of course...just that… kneeling in silk pajamas each night, adding this addendum with a blush but was always faithful to keep it in your prayers

Sometimes you have that thought in church as well...so you has to take a couple deep breaths and calm yourself...it's because you want children...not because you’re already so sprung off this man's dick after only a couple weeks of married life.

weeks that feels like a lifetime ago now, by the way

Prim and lovely Jean Crosby staring off into stained glass worlds thinking of having her tight little hole tugged open and her guts rearranged, it’s even worse than her thoughts prior to the wedding, because she’s had the experience, then suddenly it was ripped away

And she’s empty and scared to death for him

She gets asked to sing at the funeral of a lieutenant who never even got off the ground during a training flight,

work and church and such are hopeless distractions

Wanders through the department store wondering if every other wife misses this way, does everyone feel the same primal ache?

Dear Jean Crosby terribly worried she’s a freak yet entirely unrepentant for it

But ya know what’s probably funny? Across the ocean Harry Crosby is sometimes so direly missing his wife in the carnal way that he just about spaces out too, and god knows there’s zero privacy anywhere and the showers are the showers but like???? it’s just a no-go most times and everyone gets very confused when he’s in this mood?? Not at all suspecting baser distractions are what’s at play. Somehow someone figured it out, maybe he actually snapped a little about having five seconds to himself while reading a letter and they’re like

OH

And somehow there seems to suddenly be five minutes or so when NO ONE but Crosby is in the showers?!

It only takes him two minutes to get there but he needs to stand there catching his breath and clutching at his heart while he thinks of Jean sprawled beneath him

This is probably Douglass’ doing? Because he’s a good dude, he doesn’t underestimate Croz AND he’s a dirty little bastard himself

“Fellas, the man got himself a wife while half of you guys are virgins? Of course he has urges?”

In a quiet, rare moment, Gale bends his ear -Harry is so modest and low key...unlike some folks *looking at you Bucky*- “So, uh, where'd ya say you and the missus went off to before ya came here?“

Gale’s gotta casually open the door for this conversation “Lots of good sights to see? I, um, haven't done much traveling myself”

It takes Croz a few conversations until he realizes just what Gale means, until then there’s a lot bewildered eyebrows at the inquiry and bashful appreciation for the interest: “Major Cleven I-I already told you, sir, we had a little cabin in the Alleghenies for a week?“

He's been telling Jean about Major Gale Cleven, about how she'd really like him. Gale is a good fella. He tells her about all their "travel talk"

Until one day Jean writes back: “Oh honey, that Cleven of yours is a virgin”

Whether Harry divulges to Gale anything he learned about ladies in that little cabin in the mountains writhing before a fire on a bearskin rug, that first time Harry actually didn’t stop and ask if Jean was dying every time she made a noise but instead, kept going until her cried properly built and she screamed…

well, it was probably an abbreviated account that mostly consisted of “wives are just wonderful people, Major Cleven” with a far off look in his eyes

Gale leaves him to it after all- Harry was married for like 3 seconds before he left, It's literally either playback of the last horrific mission or thinking of the curve of her spine

He gets the dreamiest look on his face, eyes all shiny, mouth a little slack

Somehow these two can be so passionate and yet it’s so wholesome and good and angelic?!!! It’s the allure of them

Because it’s all in these gentle and safe and good boundaries? Like it isn’t complicated and yet it’s not simple and it’s neither settling nor is it turbulent. something to be said for “doing it right”

They genuinely thank God for each other, they’re so sure it was always intended to be just them

I have 1k of headcanons just for the homecoming ok? Y’all will have to request those separate

But once home:

The eye contact they make at social events?? It’s a whole language, the most loving and adorable thing ever

He may not be a real gem of a singer but he’s an excellent hummer. so much gentle humming around the house while he’s fixing the stove light or rocking a baby to sleep or-

You know what I mean don’t you? Some men can just humm and you’re instantly wet? No I don’t mean humming a Billie Holliday tune

I mean humming when you make a new reaction to his incessant fingering while he’s reading, makes him look away from the page and arch a brow, highly inquisitive puppy dog look on his face, reading glasses pulled down.

*a new spot? After all this time? Must investigate further*

This man, when in his element, is a goddamn tease, he’s impossible, he’s goofy, he makes sex the joyous sacrament its supposed to be every damn time and he ain’t shy to remain stark naked for ages

Praise kink for miles in that, once you’ve praised him, he will keep doing whatever earned it for the next two hours. Brace yourself

He can recite your favorite literature passages (he knows them and took pains to memorize them by your tenth anniversary) when he’s gently plowing you from the back with his hand on your neck and your ear lob in between his teeth

He’s a biter my friends -gotta keep quiet somehow, can’t scar the passel of children y’all made, after all

So many excuses given to kids about “mama and I need to talk about the mortgage” -very rarely is mortgage even thought of once the door is closed and locked

But that brings us back to the early days, it’s one thing to know someone so well after all those years but the early days?

Two Virgins named Jean and Harry went straight from the chapel to fucking like Bunnies before he went to war

Harry had done his research tho. All that reading…

Harry Crosby totally ate his wife out on their wedding night.

even though he’d never really seen a full vagina before

he’s a bit methodical, yeah? At first? with a hint of overly flustered and terribly delighted

So I’m just picturing him like hunkering down there, tentative but firm hands on your thighs: “to get my bearings, honey pie” as he takes in the lay of the land

because there’s a lot happening down there on a lady, ok? -there’s petals and more petals and slippery slopes and little buttons and a tiny hole that has to be for pee, no way he’s supposed to go in that one?! but, but she doesn’t have another? Well the backdoo- no can’t even think of that. Oh god ok, ok, vaginal opening, -I guess that’s a vaginal opening?! and due north, a little button that makes her squeak when I touch it. ok ok, might as well start there…

I can see him with a metaphorical pencil behind his ear, ready to jot down notes

Jeanie finally sighs and grips him by the ears and hauls him up for a kiss and just grinds against him and insists it’s lovely

“just kiss me, silly.” she says to him after awhile.

“Mmm, I do like kissing you, Jean” he grins back

he’s naturally kissing his way to her boobs and staying there a lovely long time but she starts pushing at his dark head, *hint hint* lower down her belly and lower, and lower and he’s so caught up he doesn’t even realize it until there’s a sweet little patch of curls under his chin and he looks up with the oddest expression of curiosity and doubt on his face only to be met with Jean’s expectant eyebrow

She wouldn’t want me to?—-*ah, she just face planted me in pussy, ok then*

Lapping at it with the biggest grin, there may or may not have been some noise complaints

the whole apartment complex just knows he’s a good husband, never would peg him as a stud if you met him in the hallway but, Jean sure takes forever to say goodbye to him in the mornings so he must do something right

All the neighbors just can't help but be happy for those two kids

They cook them food and leave the casserole dishes on the landing so they can savor each other for as long as possible before he leaves

Next Sunday they show up at church like dutiful little Americans and they’ve got hickies everywhere and his cheeks are a permanent pink, Her knees are red and raw under her church dress

I feel like maybe they get a little adventurous as their time together draws to a close? Maybe they break a dining room chair? She's too mortified to put it out on the curb

*saves it for 50 years*

Some of those wedding china ends up in pieces on the floor. Can't explain to her aunts why they don't have a full set all of a sudden

i really hope he never loses that occasional hair trigger premature ejaculation tendency.

Sometimes it even shocks him, “O-Oh...shoot”

The last day together is a dismal and precious night

The poor man probably laid there on her sweaty boobs after blowing his last load with the saddest *fml* face on as he processed it being, indeed, his last

But HOMECOMING!

and now the war is over they can set up house and make babies

A small breeding kink, after all, these men marched home from war and basically were told "get a job and let's repopulate for all the boys we lost!"

It’s so damn primal when you think about it but under the veneer of the starched and polished 50’s

Croz can't think straight in that tight little hole, let alone think of the ramifications of another baby

“Give it to me, give me another, come on Harry, we've got an empty space in the Christmas card anyway, think of it!! fill me up baby oh godddd Jesus bless your pretty dick-*

it’s the most mundane reasons and he still busts a nut like she’s some filthy vixen and not his sweet and slightly too optimistic wife

frantic love making with a sweater and socks still on, too

Jean is a writher because the longer they are married the longer he lasts and soon she’s come and he just keeps going and she cannot keep quiet then and he’s too big to ignore or calm down between, just thick enough to always be tugging just right and she fully sobs from it sometimes

Often she’s trying to cup herself?!? Fully spasming and shaking and curling in but his strong forearm is over her belly and his lips on her ear

This man is a god at spooning sex

she is so cock feral when she falls pregnant it almost alarms him

The books didn't say anything about this?! He's exhausted and dehydrated and his classes are suffering as a result

Wants to ask Egan if he encountered this phenomenon

His war buddies become a new father support group

"Hang in there pal, only three more months"

They’ll be in the kitchen just chatting before dinner, she wants to tease him. Scoops a little cherry pie filling onto her finger. He licks it and sucks it off -- bites the finger too, in the background dogs are barking and kids are running amuck

As the Crosbys you’re in for a life of very benign but nauseatingly idyllic Christmas parties.

Snow globes, y’all

Sweaters, spiked eggnog and very well thought out gifts

Harry is the sort to carry Jean's purse when they are out shopping and she is trying on clothes. He also has no problem going and buying her sanitary napkins at the drugstore when she's on her period, because it's completely normal and there's nothing for anyone to be embarrassed about. Basically, he is just stupidly in love with her. He's like a puppy who will always follow, but she doesn't take advantage of that fact (credit to:@noneedtoamputate)

He is Harry “Have You Met My Wife?” Crosby back home, too, it’s even worse when he gets tipsy and his confidence grows and good luck shutting him up about how beautiful she is

This is the sorta man whose kids only learn Daddy was a goddamn boss during the war when they’re outta college, a very casual “oh yeah, that was sort of a thing, pass the salt.”

It’s canon this man cut his own son’s hair all his little life, propped him up on a little stool in the back yard and got to trimming -some of the only times the boy ever heard of those devastating missions

Imagine? Same man who used to take you out on the porch into the night air and rock against his sweater when you were a baby and wouldn’t settle is the same man who bombed the hell outta Fortress Europe

He’s the kind of man whose kids are so enamored over how both sides of the coin could settle in the same man, they end up making a documentary about him

Now I also need you to think of this man at bath time in the early 50’s -Shirt sleeves rolled up, top two buttons on his pristine white button up shirt popped with a peak of chest hair showing through, his curls getting steamed by his kids bubble baths

He’s got the prettiest slightly hairy forearms, y’all -according to Jean at least

Gives himself a bubble beard to make his kids laugh, will stay on his knees watching them play for ages, fully participating

His white shirt gets fully transparent with all this splashing and Jean has to really keep her mind on what’s next when she can so easily see his hair and pretty little nipples pebbled in a chill under them. Stops her whining about water on the floor in seconds.

Harry’s already hushing her and mopping it up with a towel anyway

The Crosby kids will have memories of their idiotically in love and enthralled parents who loved being parents, wrapping their baby selves snuggly into towels and setting them on the counter and just cracking up over how cute they looked with their chubby and shiny widdle faces poking out of terry cloth

Jean and Harry spend a lotta time doing that, they just love their kids, ok?

Brushing their cute little Croz curls

Jean can’t say no to a single one with their sad puppy eyes their daddy gave them

Sometimes they sit the kids in front of the fireplace (they obviously needed a house with a fireplace after that honeymoon) and line them up. Talk about them as if they aren't sitting right there. "Honey, look at those gorgeous eyes -- and his smile! Oh my, who do these cuties belong to?"

But it’s not all placid domesticity. Picture this:

Crosby with a mega phone, organizes a neighborhood Easter egg hunt. He's in charge, his aviators on, taking this so seriously

There are maps, he’s planned this for weeks, some of those traits and skills he picked up during the war come back at the oddest times

this gets even more intense if any of the war buddies are there

Harry writes letters to them strategizing, they all come and bring their own kids

It makes the local paper for being one of the biggest Easter egg hunts the state has ever seen

Night falls, children fall asleep and there are still some eggs left. Armed with booze and flashlights, the boys go out to collect the rest

Harry and Jean don't collect any though, they end up in a bush necking somewhere

Bucky gets very adamant about finding them and Brady is just as adamantly begging him not to

But Major Egan cannot be stopped, he rallies his men, hopping on the kids’ bikes and scooters

Everyone heckling each other in the dark suburban neighborhood

"Ya lost your touch Buck, keep up will ya?"

They all end up in a schnapps induced heap in the Crosby's backyard, long limbs all folded up on too small equipment

Jean and Harry leisurely stroll back up the street under lamp glow to their house where everyone is feral and collapsed and calling loudly for their hosts

Sharing soft little smiles and picking twigs out of each others hair

They tuck these idiot men in on the couches and floor, blankets, sleeping bags and dogs

Hear me out: Jean is the only human able to talk a belligerent Bucky out of his thirtieth beer

She has that sweet way about her that makes every person wanna be a better man for her

When he finally gives in and throws his arm over her little shoulders and swears she’s a good woman, Harry is there with the pan and the aspirin and the blanket

She makes them all the most perfect hangover breakfast the next morning, gingham checked apron stretched over swollen belly

Harry nuzzles her belly when she stops at his plate to dish up the eggs

Everyone wants to gag over how perfectly content these two are but that would be a waste of the best breakfast in the USA

And if Jean happens to make the best baked goods on the block - Croz is making sure everyone knows just who’s muffins those are on the bake sale table. Or if she wants to pursue a career or education? Harry is her biggest cheerleader, doing anything and everything to support her and being sure that everyone knows how incredible she is at what she does. (Credit @blurredcolour)

They may be the sweater wearing, block party and Sunday school couple but don’t think anybody gets away with being snide to Mrs. Jean Crosby -there will be comeuppance, even if it’s just an exquisitely literate verbal evisceration.

There's even more often a roaming band of local kids who kick the shins of everyone who's mean to Mrs. Crosby, because she gives them sweets and feeds them when they're hungry and cleans up their scrapes when play gets too rough and -if Mr. Crosby hands out a comic or two to the boys that "accidentally" tripped some bloke who was harassing his wife, well. All is fair in love and war. (Credit to @promptedwordsmith)

When in the summer of 49 the Crosbies get a swimming pool dug? It might as well be considered public property.

not just the kids who are attached to the crosbies, though. your home is a constant revolving door of visitors - including a bunch of ex-servicemen. if it's not bucky lounging in the pool, or rosie painting the fence in his shirtsleeves because he wanted to be helpful, then douglass is smoking a cigarette in the yard while trying to make you laugh. ev is asking harry to show him how to read this goddamn map bc they're supposed to be taking a trip to the grand canyon in a month, and bubbles is over for dinner every other night. even brady sometimes shows his face, if only to carp at harry for getting them lost over france that one time while working the barbecue because you asked him to. when you and harry bought the house with an extra room you weren't sure you would ever use, you didn't expect it to be occupied as often as a popular hotel. if anyone ever had any bad intentions toward the crosbies, they're definitely rethinking it. those that don't...well. being in the air corps teaches one all sorts of creative ways of getting back at people. (Credit to @fidelias)

Imagine all the different skills the Crosby kids (_and their neighbor friends who never seem to leave_) learn from these guys?

“Oh yeah, Bucky Egan taught me how to swim while wearing his aviators…”

In other words:

Harry Crosby went home and built himself a little Norman Rockwell Camelot and then opened the doors of the kingdom to his buddies and -that’s as it should be.

And that’s not even mentioning how the Air Force and the CIA walked up to his front porch and interrupted a backyard ballgame to ask him for his help

It sucks to be super smart and needed when all ya wanna do is teach literature, go camping and help keep the church life going

But still

Jean sure looked good in Pakistan, the kids enjoyed a new culture and Harry likes to say he may have done some good

[blue-razzslushie]

I wanted to do this for awhile but it slipped my mind 😭. But since it's pride Month, I present to you. . .

Hogwarts Legacy Sexuality HC's (Including Rory cuz yes)

Students:

Sebastian: Pansexual, lil bro wants affection from everyone. Don't matter who. Your a boy? Girl?! Neither? He don't care tell him he's handsome

Ominis: Bisexual, He leans a bit more towards girls but him and Sebastian have a weird bromance thing going on so there's that

Garreth: Straight Ally, He supports all his friends no matter who they are attracted too. Oh you're gay? Cool, Try this concoction!

Natty: Lesbian, This may just be me projecting onto my favorite characters but I can totally see Natty as a badass lesbian. We love a women's woman who don't take shit

Poppy: Pansexual, She loves everyone regardless of gender. Everyone is hot to her, girls, guys, people in between. . . Merlin they're all so pretty

Amit: Omnisexual, He leans more toward girls but he fancies boys as well. He would just love for someone to share his stars with to be honest

Imelda: Lesbian. Straight up, no projection even needed. You can't look me dead in the eyes and tell me Imelda wouldn't be Lesbian.

Professors (just my favorites):

Professor Fig: Straight Ally, one of the most supportive straight dads you could ever think of deadass. He would wear those "free dad hug" shirts at pride fests if they existed back then

Professor Ronen: Bisexual, He's happily married to his wife but I gotta be honest when I first saw him I thought he had to be a zest fest in some way deadass.

Professor Hecat: Bisexual, She def would lean more towards girls but that's just my vision. We love a Badass Bisexual chat believe you me.

Professor Weasley: Straight Ally, yet another most supportive person you could ever think of. She wouldn't care if you were gay, trans, bisexual. She would love you regardless, and I love her for that

Professor Garlick: Lesbian. 1000%. After that letter she wrote to Sirona and all the mentions of each other they 100% are gay and I am HERE FOR IT.

Professor Sharp: AroAce. Romance? Never heard of it. Only kind of attraction he knows is how Garreth always seems to attract some sort of trouble. I know people mainly HC him as Bi and I'm here for that but I've always seen the man AroAce, He doesn't have time for romance, he has potions to brew and over powered 5th years to keep track of. . .

Rory: Lesbian. They never understood the appeal of men anyway, #1 Man hater besides like. . . A handful they can tolerate. They love women, and only women and they are the most open person about it in the WORLD.

Alright that's my headcanons, Happy pride Month chat!! ^^

[weebsinstash]

I was wondering, would Mayday tell the difference between us the the YouTwo?? Cuz from the movie she looks very perceptive and smart enough, so I can’t help but wonder if she could tell when it’s us or YouTwo?

For example; we probably blow on her stomach to make her laugh whenever we greeted her. But YouTwo? She just holds her at arms length and looks at her like she’s a disease

And probably Peter B Parker would know it’s us or not??

I like the idea that certain people and especially the more animal-based Spiders can always kind of inherently tell who's who just by smell alone, but also, something I think I haven't utilized in many of my ideas yet is the Spidey Sense. You can lowkey just spidey vibe check someone and kind of tell or sense stuff about them? And like I dunno if I'm misinterpreting the scene but didn't Miles also have certain visions with some of his Spidey Sense episodes like in the first movie, he has visions of the spider being an alchemax spider just before he meets Blonde Peter, or, idk, he saw visuals with his Spidey Sense

Like sidebar but the whole, kind of vision thing, imagine you're extremely stressed and have you know maybe been doing some self harming stuff and Peter B sees you're going through it one day and, you're actually about to open up to him when you experience the Spidey vision/premonition of, you tell him and he immediately goes and tells Miguel, and you realize oh he's kind of a snitching bastard ain't he (but it's for your own good he promises he's just worried about you kiss kiss uncle Pete loves ya)

But no, I was maybe thinking, YouTwo pops up and Reader is going through their 'beginning a depressive episode' shit and you can tell YouTwo is new and freaked out and, well, it's real easy to see yourself in, well, yourself, and you're like "hey I know what it feels like to feel alone, maybe you could, hang out with this friend of mine, just this once" and you give some tips on how to act around them and, maybe the more you get depressed and feel useless, you actually let them take over more and more and it's when they have some decent "power" that they start actively replacing you and messing with you and trying to kick you out and get rid of you for real

Reader, who is also feeling aimless and depressed: hey other me, why don't you go hang out with this buddy Pavitr of mine, he has this healing energy--

YouTwo: *gets along well with Pavitr and he winds up inviting other friends of yours and YouTwo makes their own independent plans with all of them, basically assimilating deep into your entire friend group and giving themselves more opportunities to steal your friends and more people, and also these hangouts become later 'proof' aka "well im the real one and i can prove it, hey Pavitr remember when we--"*

Reader: hmmmm definitely don't like that!

But no just. Picture Peter B one day finds a little bruise on Mayday, maybe a few of them, and he noticed her temperament is a little different. He can just TELL something is wrong and so can her mother Mary Jane, and Peter thinks, well, there's really not many times she's even out of his sight, ALTHOUGH he DID let 'you' babysit a few times. And at first he wants to play it off, "oh you're just inexperienced with babies and Mayday can be a total handful, you probably just made a mistake" and 'you' even lie and say, maybe it was another kid or Spider animal who got to her when 'you' had barely turned your back

But Peter B gets a little tiny baby monitor/listening device gadget, like a little hard plastic keychain that looks innocent and is ultra durable, and he attaches it to Mayday anyways, just to find out definitively what's happening, and he's with Miguel one day making idle chit chat and they can just hear 'you' over the baby monitor, "why does he keep leaving you with me. I don't even like you, you nasty little monster" and Peter B is just sort of like. ":) haha I'm sure they're. They're joking. They're totally joking" and there's just a series of *yelp* "did you just fucking bite me? Little BITCH!" *Mayday cries out and starts bawling* "yeah you're lucky that's all you get, my parents used to do way worse to me--"

Cue Peter B and Miguel bursting into the room because both fathers are understandably ENRAGED because 1. Dude have 'you' been hurting Parker's literal actual baby and 2. This is not the person they thought it was. Oh SHIT is this not the right person they thought it was

Peter B eventually meets up with you, the real you again, because sometimes i imagine Reader just quietly moves to a normal part of Nueva York and you hand your Spidey life over to YouTwo, and youre understandably a little hateful and dont want to talk to him, but he kinda just, deposits his baby into your arms. Hes gonna baby test ya and see if youre the real one. Mayday just is totally relaxed in your arms, which are noticeably much more careful holding her than your double was because Peter B actually showed you how to hold a baby, and she also has a bandaid on her hand from scratching it against something and you're just like "oh no, you got a little boo boo 🥺 why does your DUMB DADDY keep bringing you around places you can get hurt" and Peter B is like "well ok I think that's a little uncalled for but this one is definitely the real one"

Peter B is then at the front of the Anti YouTwo lynchmob because "that fake HURT MY BABY, Miguel!" which of course wins over a bunch of other formerly skeptical Spiders. You think Jess would ever give YouTwo a second chance? Fuck that, she's not gonna trust some temperamental monster around her baby whenever it's born! Meanwhile Spider Cat who can't talk is over here like "yeah well why do you think I kept biting them, they're a fake 🙄 you see this bullshit, Spider Miette" "jail for faker, jail for faker for one thousand years--"

The Spider Society finally 'gets you back' all "and arent you so happy things can just go back to normal again :)" and you're like "uhhh no fuck you guys, I'll live here but only because you don't give me any other option, the only ones of you I still trust anymore are the animal Spiders, the little kids, Hobie the realest bitch in here who never doubted me, and the toys, isn't that right special edition neon funko pop Miles Morales"

One day after YouTwo has replaced you they get too comfortable thinking everyone is always never once going to question or doubt them anymore and some absolutely heinous shit comes out of their mouth and like they get the social equivalent of one of those Telltale or Fallout video game HUDS pop up, "EVERYONE disliked that" "Miguel will remember that" "social karma lost"

YouTwo, not realizing you did one last thing to fuck them over on the way out: oh hey it's that Hobie guy that's been gone for ages, the real me told me the special password to let him know I'm the real one was "blue lives matter"?

the second that shit comes out of YouTwo's mouth he instantly knows as well as literally anyone around who knows Hobie now knows that's the fake you. YouTwo gets some real life ass [YOU CANNOT FAST TRAVEL WHEN THERE ARE HOSTILES IN YOUR AREA] as Hobie and everyone else for that matter instantly goes into full "I can't kill you but I can beat your ass" mode

[aquaquadrant]

What do other Hells players think of these “join” messages? They have got to be utterly unheard of right? I’m just imagining spawn swarming with confused players brave or stupid enough to go check it out.

(Sorry if it’s been asked before)

no worries, i’ve talked abt this before but it never hurts to explain (plus it can be hard to find stuff in my asks tag hagsjdhsj)

the state of chat in hels is something i’m afraid i haven’t done the best job portraying in the fics, for the sake of not taking up unnecessary space. but basically, hels is such a large and highly-populated world that even tho no one really uses chat to actually TALK, it’s always bumping with messages: achievements, join messages, and frequent deaths (there are no ‘leave’ messages when players exit thru a portal tho bc hels has that disabled). most players have their comm notifs set to whispers only (tho atlas has set his to notify join messages too). cuz in this fictional setting, chat exists only on a communicator rather than popping up in the corner of a player’s vision; they’d have to be actively looking at their comm to see it.

so realistically, most hels players wouldn’t notice repeated join messages like that (ofc, the guys in our story have very specific reasons to pay attention to that sort of thing). and there have been rare instances where a group of kids spawned in all at once, leading to an influx of join messages like that (prob not QUITE as many tho), so ppl would prob make that assumption in this case. now, i’m sure there were some who noticed and were curious enough to check out spawn, only to be confused when it was empty, but in terms of large-scale effects that would have on the world… unclear.

even if there were players who realized what was going on and suspected that portals were involved, the somewhat isolated nature of the many communities within hels (and the hostile nature of its players) would make it difficult for that information to spread very far, at least not in a timely manner. and lots of hels residents are too busy living their own chaotic lives to take notice of odd things in chat like this, so as of right now, it’s just business as usual.

[gracethefoundfamilyfan]

ok wait wait wait wait wait

we all hate on master fu for choosing literal children, right

but what if they HAVE to be children.

think about it. Ladybug's power is creation. She basically runs off love. She's crazy, and unorganized, and the fact that she feels so much for everything is what makes her the perfect creation holder. She falls in love way too easily. She makes crazy plans. Her and her friends think they can save the world with a hijacked commercial, and they DO it. Because they believe they can. You can't tell me an adult would be able to pull off any of the crazy plans the Miracugang pulls off. (Honestly Miraculous Ladybug reawakened my inner child cuz I used to be just like Marinette and she's literally the reason I picked up sewing again but that's another rant for another time)

And then there's Adrien. His power is destruction. Freedom. (Go read drowning (in plain sight) by buggachat there's a whole character study on Plagg in there and it's beautiful.) Anyways. Imagine if Fu had waited another year or two, not to mention until Adrien was an adult with a 'fully functioning brain'. You can't tell me Adrien could've held out that long. He wouldn't have been chosen for the Chat miraculous, because he wouldn't have been trying to run away. He would have either been broken, or his father would have used his amok to force him into complete obedience by then. But in Origins, it's close enough to his mother's death that he still remembers her. He's still feeling. He's still rebelling. And then Plagg gives him the strength to keep doing that, and the outlet (as Chat Noir) to express himself so he doesn't lose himself.

And then there's the Lucky Charms. The plans that they come up with are frankly frickin bonkers. I mean, Rena's first mission (if I remember correctly) involved Chat Noir jumping off a roof on a unicycle. I honestly think Ladybug's lessened amount of life experience helps in those situations, because I'm only a couple years older than her and I would have never thought up any of those ideas. My brain is too fixed by the system at this point to think that much out of the box, although I'm working on fixing that. I can't imagine my mom, for example, coming up with any of that stuff, let alone finding a random pair of earrings and putting them on in the first place. Literally no one else would do that except for a super trusting teenager who's also into fashion. Not to mention the fact that they

TL;DR: The emotional capacity and limited life experience of the superheroes in ML are the only reason they even consented to being superheroes in the first place, and although I don't like it, Fu was working god mode when he picked them. Basically, you have to have the vision to see the possibilities without putting limits on yourself (because the holder sets the limits) and it's far easier for teenagers/younger people to imagine stuff like that. Also they're such dorks.

wow that's a long tldr sorry about that

[tulipsnflowers]

if you don't mind another one:

Nexomon character: Fenrir

tumblr ATE THIS ONE AKSNHRIEKS I didn't get a notification!

Massive Nexomon spoilers ahead

Also I may or may not have missed the mark a lil bit... Whoopsies. Also if these takes are rancid, er, it was written at 3am as my defense

Before I begin, I'd like to say, I have a friend who dislikes(jokingly) Fenrir personally. Our nickname to him is matchstick fire show pony👍 (That's an entirely different story and a lot of my inside jokes are from a play through with this friend)

Fenrir!!!... Fenrir. God. (Runs hand through hair) I never have any sane thoughts about any of Omnicron's children.

So to start off with the basics, Fenrir aka Fona is Omnicron's 3rd child. Undying Fire, and we don't fight him until the actual Nexolord tower(which is a trait he shares with Zetta). Presumably, he hasn't transformed in a while till that point and for some God forsaken reason he isn't in Ignitia.

In n2 he is in Ignitia of course, and yada yada fire powers.

Now to start off with the insanity (clears throat)

He is, more of an introvert than I am and it hurts. (Frick, I should point out, in n2 me and my friend spent like 45 mins chatting in the room because we felt kinda bad leaving)

As a simple why I like him: A) He is in omnicron's family it gives him automatic insanity points, B) He is a very interesting character to me, and a bastard

In n1 we meet him with Ivan and he essentially let's us go to not get his hands dirty, and also, It took me 4 play throughs, but I finally pieced together he was the one who burned that house down. I'm a really quick thinker guys

Then his next interaction is in Royalle(excluding vision), where he WANTED to transform, but Ulzar spooked him off(you can get him Fen cmon), and tried to use his aura on our nexomon (something I need to go into a seperate rant about), didn't work (which.. Deena was either trailing us(my belief), or, Ulzar wasn't the friendliest with his nexomon from the get go)

Then it's in Lateria where he lets us through after we kick his butt, aura not working again and he leaves(coming here later. He, is he suspecting Deena here, is that why he let us go? Or is it because he believed Grunda would use us as toothpicks) , and then Grunda and yada yada

Then it's frozen which is mostly us fighting him and telling Glacia to get lost

So! Out of all of Omnicron's kids, he's the one who let's us go the most. Merida was gonna kick our butt but Zetta fetched her, Zetta had Royalle, Granda tried to eat us, Nadine tried and somehow failed to push us off a tree..

But Fenrir? He had the capacity to keep going at all the times minus Royalle where he was going to transform(📌), but he just kinda let us be, not his problem.

He is also the one who we meet the most, granted, but still.

One could say he just cared about Omnicron, I suppose. So heck, this random child probably won't do much. Maybe. But that then excludes Royalle.

He says in the tower it's been a while since anyone's been worthy of seeing his human form(he beats Remus, Ivan and their teams without it after all!), and thus fight. Warriors, fire, so on.

So then.. I think, a reaction to his aura not fricking working. Which is an issue immediately, because that's how they stayed atop. With that. So he must've thought that if that didn't work, then heck, let's kill the kid and get it over with

Cuz I don't think we're quite worthy of it yet ya know

... Then Ulzar steps in. I don't think he was as scared of Ulzar. Well yes, he may not have been wanting to fight him but it was also an Oh. Well, that bastard is there, and if he's doing it then it's fine. Cuz that's a reason and that's something also not his issue(Hi Ziegler), and that can be dealt with.

.. In Solus( the desert), it happens yet again. And there's no Ulzar this time so there's a real chance he just left you to get eaten by Grunda, or, as I said before Deena. If it was Nara, then that's still an issue, but hey, that one they can at least deal with

Am I missing the subject of the ask? Probably. I can't tell. But it's a ramble and if you didn't come for that then whoops.

Tower time towered, I think that one was pretty clear, then his Nightmare which,

Frick. I genuinely can't remember what he says. One can look it up later. I remember it being with Matthew and I remember what Ogroon says more than I do him. And fire powers, that too.

N2! N:E. Well, there he's convinced by Deena to give us Fire powers because Redemption. (And she is his younger sister I myself am guilty of not being able to say no on a couple occasions)

Epic fight with a cool transformation

Then he gives them to us(and in a dialogue branch says "Go without fear, (). You'll do fine. " or something to those lines which, Fenrir is a great uncle)

.. THEN it's a bit with us at the observatory, then I think that's all of his dialogue..? Minus the revival one.

I realize I missed the mark and just rambled about a bunch of different things but, hey. You're here to watch me go insane not be not insane, so.

I just like Fenrir. He's great. That's it go home everyone

(Also, note here: He genuinely comes off as the most uncaring which, no you're not. I have 3 siblings one of them may not be the most expensive but Frick, ya know they care at the end of the day. He certainly does.)

[pixiestickie]

also jamiazu prompt fr u to talk abt: who do u think kissed the other first. how do u think their first kiss played out

RUBS MY EVIL HANDS LIKE AN EVIL MOSQUITO ON A SUMMER MORNING

okay so ill get to the point my awnser is jamil im sorry . i dont know how many people here will agree with this post but i am no longer a coward on tumblr (LIAR)

i mostly feel like this because I can’t picture azul as being straight forward about that sort of thing. i can picture him as meticolously planning and practicing everything beforehand and then just failing miserably because jamil is jamil.

sometimes i think abt how azul never had a friend to socualize with in his childhood (other than the tweels which are FAR from normal friends). if he ever crushed on someone as a kid he 100% never acted out on it because of how insecure he was (and is) with all that bullying he received

also azul is at disadvantage because jamil is always so grumpy around him how is one supposed to know if its ok to kiss this guy without getting punched in the face

the whole thing about jamiazu is that jamil needs to learn how to trust azul (abd actually azul does as well but thats another can of worms that needs its seperate post) which is why i can only see it happen post-book6 jamil

once he learns to overcome his horrifying trust issues induced by his horrible job . thats when he kisses azul ^_^

i really went off topic with this post cuz it was supposed to be about a first kiss but i deserve to wtite paragraphs and be shameless i think

anyway my vision is: they’re hanging out alone in an unplanned place like maybe away from a scarabia party? maybe in the fucking hallways bathrooms away from classes? just not a planned date or anything because i have delusions (i feel like jamil would do it in an unplanned context on purpose). at first they’re just standing there alone with lots of tension, with azul trying to chat like he always does but jamil is deep in thought about how he feels about everything. jamil concludes that he is so tired of depriving himself of what he wants and of holding himself back. that he should go for that kiss because he deserves it ^_^ and azul explodes and dies……. u think about the rest…….

i hope you like my vision i should not be allowed to write crimge when sleep deprived ❤️❤️❤️

[boredfaneliza]

heiscara sagau cuz I'm insane and it's 3 am

he's a streamer and is down bad for heizou. also heizou is self aware about this.

when he first met heizou, he didn't care for his character. it's just an anemo dps. hell it's a 4 star. even tho he did his trial. until he played his hangout and was like "wait why am I feeling like this?"

so scara decided to do a pull on heizou and try him out. it took some time getting used to. but somehow hearing his voice and learning about his story, just makes him like the 4 star more.

getting heizou cons, giving him the best catalyst weapons, and the best cv of his artifacts. SCARA IS APART OF THE 1.1% SPIRAL ABYSS BCUZ HE WILL BRINGS HIM NO MATTER WHAT.

the simp part is funny bcuz he does have heizou merch (perks of being a streamer). there's probably a body pillow somewhere... reads x readers fic on tumblr. HE WILL DEFEND HEIZOU'S ASS TO HELL. YES HE MADE THOSE THREADS ABOUT WRITING HEIZOU CORRCTLY

chat makes fun of him all the time lol

however sometimes scara wishes heizou was real. he bets the detective is such a nerd in real life. trying to make him be more active and talk about his cases. ugh scara is so touch starved he wishes heizou could hold him.

there were weird moments that he thought the detective was talking to him. but that's probably his imagination...

-

now heizou being self aware about this is interesting. the traveler already knows about this presence that always follow them. some sort of an entity. sometimes certain people who have visions. heizou is one of the lucky people.

he hears scara's comments about him (good and bad). sometimes sees chat's words scattering in his amusement eyes. there's so many things he had learned from this (unfortunately).

even tho he rarely uses his anemo powers when it comes to combat. he's still getting stronger, having the best weapons, and had a dedicated spot for him in the serenitea pot

heizou doesn't know how to feel this. he feels like he's getting pressured from this. scara might've wanted higher expectations from him. especially damage.

but he hears scara being defensive about him and saying he knows him better. praises and he doesn't expect anything from heizou himself personally.

when scara says "I'm glad heizou actually got a friend. the one who knows about him. I hate to admit this. even I want to hug him... I wish people knew his struggles..."

it made heizou cried hard.

he appreciates scara so much now. he knows about how the steamer hides behind walls during streams. but when it's just him and heizou. something that scara let's himself go.

it did took a while to reel in that he's a character in a story. the fact heizou won't be able to meet scara in real life or won't get to see his face. he wants to show him around, bring him to escape rooms, talk to him behind a invisible wall.

who knows when will that day come?

instead he'll dream about him and finally get to hold him.

[sea-drifter]

A new ship? TELL ME ALL !!!!!

also I'm glad your day got better !

AND SO HERE IS YOUR DAILY KISS

MWAH!!!

I FINALLY GOT TIME TO POST SO HERE GOES- CANT BELIEVE IM NOT THE FIRST TO SHARE THIS SHIP BUT AT LEAST THERE ARE PEOPLE WHO SHARE THE VISION-

also this is a very late reply wow- ANYWAYS-

So i was just thinking one day y'know, like, what if i shipped my first genshin crush and my latest genshin crush, and it resulted to

"Diluc x Kaveh" I was like, "haha, they're perfect for each other" as a joke...but bro...I don't think it's a joke anymore... also for the shipname, i was either DilVeh that's kinda eh or KaLuc that u can misread as KaeLuc But then i decided to call it DiVe!! the first one still pronouncing their names a bit, this one is just straight up dive cuz i wanna dive into their overflowing potential of a ship- This is gonna be a long rant about how they met and headcanons [which I will post separately] so be prepared- TW: ooc, mentions of alcohol but only a bit pls still do enjoy and see if you'd ship them with me^^

Diluc being a head of the Dawn Winery just gets him bitches y'know. And the Ragnivindr clan being nobles in the past just adds to that, he's a- Anyways- How I think they'd meet: Let's say Kaveh has been traveling with traveler and paimon for a bit and he may have done some changes to the serenity pot as thanks for letting him sleep in a comfortable bed and not just outside of al haitham's house. And since other genshin characters visit there sometimes too, ofc word of The Light of Kshahrewar's works would spread out. And that's where Kaveh lands in Mondstadt, commissioned to build something there or perhaps just commissioned to make a Mondstadt-inspired home/building for someone. Ever since Kaveh got that commission, he knew he had to save a lot of money for the famous wine of Mondstadt. And as we know, Kaveh is a lover of wine, so The Angel's Share is a must-go visit for him on this search for inspiration! Plus, where's he gonna find inspiration without a bit of chillaxing first, right?

With his smarts and passion for the arts, he would clearly love Mondstadt. The poems and bards, the flowers and freedom, oh so different to Sumeru who even banned such wonderful performances! He definitely fell for Monstadt first. Being lucky enough to make reservations to an Inn, though not nearby,(let's pretend there's an Inn in Springvale since the goth grand hotel is occupied by the fatui.) He sets off to Angel's Share. With how pretty this man is, you can't deny eyes were on him. A foreigner from afar with a beautiful physique, his shirt showing his back and chest tells the patrons of the bar that he is very confident in his appearance. Though the redhead by the counter didn't seem to even stare a bit and only looked up to see who came in and started making another drink. Anyone would've been hurt or offended but Kaveh was too stunned to see the Diluc Ragnvindr in the flesh and merely stood in awe by the counter. Ahhhhhhhhh two hot people in the same place, the bar is practically melting, save for the drunk ones who are already beyond the comprehension of their surroundings.

"Ah, I'm truly in luck today." Kaveh chirped as he sat down.

"I'm so happy to taste the famous wine of Mond and have the head of the Dawn Winery as the bartender himself!" He praised more. "My pleasure dear guest." "Coming from all the way to Sumeru, I think the pleasure of meeting you shall be mine. After all, you're quite more of the star here tonight than I am." Yea yea, Diluc doesn't like idle chit-chat, but like, I can see Kaveh just throwing flowers at him with his vocabulary and making Diluc have to respond. Though of course the attention is thrown back to Kaveh as patrons start swirling around him asking questions about Sumeru and perhaps if he's single- Drink after drink, Kaveh has become drunk to the point where he'd gone and started complaining unlike how flowery with his words he was earlier. The other patrons have already gone home or passed out outside, but Diluc was still at the counter, listening to Kaveh complain about this "Al Haitham" person. "HE DOESN'T GET IT DOES HE-" "AND THEN HE CARRIED BOTH KEYS AGAIN-" "HE'S JUST SO AGHHHHHHHH-" Diluc has enough and tries to at least ask Kaveh if he's staying anywhere. Of course, he got ignored. So he went with plan B. Which is to bring him along to his house. I mean, he can't get information, and he's too tired to have some people check in on where he's staying so he could just bring him there. He could finally rest, and the drunk blonde won't have to be in danger if he ever stumbled into the wild in his drunken frenzy. "What the fuck happened last night." That was all Kaveh could think of as he suddenly sat up which he instantly regretted when he feels his head throb in pain. He was in an unfamiliar and large room. His clothes were different and from the feel and looks of them, it's expensive as fuck-

"AM I DEAD OR SOMETHING-" "Not at all, sir." Reassures the voice, to which Kaveh jumps, meeting eyes with the maid, who smiles at him. "Good morning sir, here is some tea to soothe your headache and some breakfast to fill your stomach." A tray of authentic Mondstadt food was placed on his lap, making him drool at the sight.

"I'll be off to tell the young master that you're awake so, please enjoy your meal as I call for him." Ever since he stepped into Mondstadt, everything was so fun and relaxing, and no annoying roommate to argue with all the time. He was truly in paradise- But his second day in Mond already started in chaos. I mean- HE'S IN SOMEONE'S HOUSE RIGHT NOW- WHERE IS HE- What more shall come to Kaveh? And what's this warm feeling building up when he meets him more often? couldn't decide how it goes to the point where they fall for each other so perhaps you can share your ideas hehe will post headcanons later in the day or when I get home

[hellyesbro]

How do I meet people and be as cool as you?

Being cool is easy but meeting people is hard. Being cool makes it a little bit easier to lock in friends after you meet new people though so I will tell you how to do that first.

Being cool is literally just looking around you and figuring out what you think is cool and copying it. You'll feel like a total imposter at first but trust me when I say everyone who's really cool feels like that they're putting on an act at some point. See an outfit you really like? Buy it. See a way people talk that sounds cool? adopt it. Hobbies you think are really cool? do em! I cannot begin to stress how important having hobbies and also a sense of artistic vision is. I mean it's also important to understand what's doable for you. Sometimes I look at some totally sleek and prim and perfect aesthetic and I think it looks dope, then I remember that I'm messy as hell and an aesthetic that leans into that, like punk, is probably better for me. Ok that's how to be cool.

Meeting people is hard. It's definitely easier to do online. Online all you gotta do is make cool stuff and follow people with similar interests, and they'll probably follow you back and then you can chat. IRL though honestly the best advice I can give is to move to a major city. As you walk around look for posters for shit that looks cool, bars that look cool, etc, and just kind of haunt em. If you look cool and haunt cool places people will want to talk to you so just go up to em and chat! honestly don't treat em like a social club cuz thats bad manners but leftist organizing is a fast track to meet dope people. Also dating apps but I don't have much luck with that. My friends sure as hell do tho. So like, Lex, Hinge, Grindr. Yknow. That sort of thing. But honestly it's a lot of luck. So just try to put yourself out there and hope shit lines up!

[d0ntw0rrybehappy]

journallllll 5/21

now that i’m moving out it’s gonna be harder to see my mom cause i’m further away and she’s gonna be sooo sad. i worry about my mom bc inside she is the world’s most lovable sweetest well-meaning person but she has less self-awareness/emotional control than most people so people judge her rly hard. i always want to be like guys just roll your eyes and let it go and let her know she is loved, she just has some weird kind of like, specific mom dementia/brain glitch, and deep down you KNOW this so lay off. there are so few people my mom lets in or will actually listen to. she was this kid runaway who built a life for herself in the art world copping designer clothes and flying to paree like a fucking pirate and then she had me instead of getting married and i’m one of the like MAYBE 3 people she actually likes. lol. nails & teeth metaphor “you’re the only one she’ll listen to” or “you’re the only one who can talk to her.” i miss her friend jaime who was an indubitably brilliant depressive semitic russian translator who never once judged my mom and they had this kind of relationship where they’d lie feet-to-head on a couch and just chat chat chat. she was my favorite of my mom’s friends. she died from cancer and self-neglect basically. bullshit. shauna’s friend alex reminded me of her the last night and i was like ugh i miss jaime. i wish my mom still had jaime!!! what am i gonna do? i have to have my own life but i have to protect my mom. stupid WASPs be like “you can’t take on your moms problems” shut the fuck up WASP you don’t know shit. other kids be rolling their moms around in wheel chairs and don’t complain you piece of individualist propaganda. nails & teeth metaphor the ignominious but resolute fighter (the progeny) lol.

so anyway this isn’t a post about my mom this is a post about henry cuz then i remembered henry lives on the west side like my mom. henry whom i’ve been on two dates with and have a major crush on. not a normal crush, a “oh you’re about to buy a horse son” level crush. and i imagined when i come to the west side, henry joining me for dinner on the days i visit my mom. not because that sounded like oh so much fun to him but because it was a way for us to spend time together. there are ppl who are married who do that kind of stuff for each other. it made me want to cry bc that would mean so much to me. this is fantasy henry not real henry but probably he would. i’ve only been on two dates with him and everyone is like avaaaaa don’t have too many expectations and like I KNOW i know i’m in it like ?? what’s the phrase? in it like jarvin? lol. besides if he dumped me i would DESERVE IT!!! i got fuckin’ KARMA to pay baby i broke more than a couple hearts the past couple years THIS IS WHAT THEY FELT LIKE?!? THEY FELT LIKE THIS?!?!?? wow FUCK

um but yeah obviously i would survive and if we break up it’s cause we’re not a match and there’s nothing *wrong* with me, duh, duhhhhh, totally notttttt a completely unhinged and slightly unhygienic individual, plus now i know what to look for - kind!!! stable!!! people!!! people i have a lot in common with!!! smart!!! part of the same world as me!!! people with a vision, a goal, passions!!! who take care of themselves!!! okay there’s gotta be lots of guys like that. so if it’s not henry FINE. but guyssssss guys i could actually see a future with him wtf was i doing before??? wowww i played so many games without realizing. 

anyway so we’ve only been on 2 dates so far but i am fully smitten with him (with spells of crushing doubt) and if one more person tells me to play it cool and not have expectations i WILL bite bc bitch I KNOW can you give me SOME OTHER KIND OF ADVICE PLS i have obviously not TOLD him any of this so stop putting more pressure on me to act or feel a certain way trust me I GET IT. and i think it’s dumb this is the advice given to women anyway.

also i’m going to europe probably for an entire month and as long as i don’t lose my job i’m gonna have a fucking amazing summer. losing job doesn’t seem that plausible, however, terrifying thought, bc i’m on my own now and need the moolah. and was a little uneven the past few months but that’s just a learning lesson ig. plus there’s always more jobs. right??? right. *sailor moon handhold sparkle fx*

ok thanks for being witnesses to my online diary my friends anxietyposting on here actually kind of helps, really excited for the future, it’s amazing that i’m getting these opportunities and the reason i’m so anxious is bc i care and i have something to lose. !

[onmywaytofanfic]

Muta x Reina - Chapter 2 - Cracks

Okay...so here it is this short chapter for Muta and Reina. Again Reina having multiple ships and me diving into the AU verse head first. So here is some Reina and Muta continuing what was left before. Also I will clean my tags and like properly tag teh different AUs cuz..chaos.

WARMINGS: Mentions of suicide attempt

WORDS: 3176

Reina sat in the bed, scared, fragile and over all closer to lose her temper and her coolness. It was a hard week, she had been going to all her therapy session, she had also gone to those group chats and even joined the book-club. She had started to get of her shell, as much as she could. Every day closer to seen Muta, seemed to strangle her.

-Gen…Gen…Dr. Yamanaka – she ran towards him

-What’s the matter Reina?

-Can you like cancel the visit? – He was talking with another nurse, looked at her and nodded gently

-Just give me a minute – then he returned his vision and focus on her – Listen Reina

-I can’t do it

-Well, I think you can, and not just that…But I truly think that you need it. He has agreed and you can spend a whole afternoon with someone from the outside, don’t you say that you miss it? If you want to go back there, you need to get used first to what you are going to encounter there, and the first steps, not just for you but for everyone here…Is re-meeting familiar faces. I’m sure you will be okay. You seemed so eager to see him? What’s the problem now?

-I…- a small buzzing filled her ears, her hive anxious – I just…I …

-Reina… tomorrow you will have a great day.

The doctor left and she just started to go back to her room. She did not go to the book-club that evening and decided to do something with her little gift. Her stupid, little gift. She still remembers it clearly, the pain that it meant to him and everyone. It was a very lovely event, a small party to celebrate that Shino and Kagura were back from their honeymoon. At some point a knife left the table and it fell to the floor, near to her foot. She just stood there silently, looking at the knife. Shibi was too and Muta’s father, Atlas. She wanted to scream of happiness, to jump around and rush to Muta’s home and cut…cut a lot. Her hive had given up, it did not try to protect her from the knife. She smiled and, in a flash, she left their garden. The next thing, she decided to look for something sharp. However, it did not cut her.

-You …. dammed you – howled her. A small flock of insects was trying to make her stop from hurting herself. The next thing she remember was Shibi and Atlas breaking in Muta’s bedroom. They tried to make her stand up, but she was a mess of tears. She grabbed the knife once more, but Shibi just needed to grab her wrist firme. Her hive was in danger, their host was the danger. Both have talked many times about it since the day they agreed to Takeo’s proposal. It could be a good choice, she was out of that environment, they would leave the compound, not many Aburames and for that extend people who lived there, seemed to like the duo. They thought they could help her, and her hive to not fall into such places. But it was late. She was broken in so many tiny and minute pieces that nobody seemed to find them anywhere.

-I think it is the only choice…. - muttered Shibi to his younger brother. He nodded. It was time to seek help, outside their nest. She could not be helped by the hive anymore. That was her faint last memory. Apparently Muta was also there, and Torune, Fuu, Shino and Katsura…Everyone seemed to help her pack her things, they said that Katsura helped Muta to clean her. But she couldn’t remember anything… except that when she rushed to Muta’s home to do it…she broke a small pot that he had at the entrance. A silly pot with a small cactus on it, it had the formed of a beetle. She had been going to pottery classes there and she thought that it was time to give something to him, after all he had only gave to her.

-This is stupid – muttered holding the small pot -This is just…-she let the tears flow. She held it tightly, afraid of break it, letting it on the top of her table scared, overwhelmed… She couldn’t face him, not now nor ever. Curled in her bed she fell asleep crying, drinking her salty tears and making a whole mess. She did not want to see him, and yet she was craving his arms around her body, the security that the sweet buzzing of his hive made just for her. She never replied to that chant, her body numb every time he hugged with that tenderness in his heart. Numb, unconscious, unaware of what she was losing by no hugging back, by no closing her eyes and let that subtle rhythm take her pain out of her. She grabbed the sheet of her bed while dreaming of that embrace and wondering how she could have back everything that she spit on it.

She wanted her life back, but she did not know where she left it.

Time fly by and the day of the visit arrived with blazing sun that let the small garden of the ward blind everyone with its colours. They reflect in the tiny room where Reina kept looking at the hand mirror shaking, her hair a mess and her face completely swallowed of all the tears that every day she shed. – A mess…- muttered, they left her there a huge mess and she kept being one. She was mediocre at best. Hiding in the bathroom tried to wash off everything with cold water out of her face, tried her hardest to tame her mane and kept pushing tears back. There was no use, no form to solve what she had become. She gave up, once more, and sat on the floor. The clock kept running and so was Muta back at his home…

He woke up earlier than usual and started to prepare breakfast in a merry mood. His father looked at his energetic son finishing some short of pastries and looked confused. Muta still had troubles adapting to his new limb, and he clearly limp while moving around the kitchen.

-Good morning father – smiled the young sprout. Atlas just gave him a snort and sat on the stools of the counter.

-You go today to see her, don’t you? – his son nodded and kept packaging the pastries in a small blue box. He made biscuits with different shapes and flavour, butter, chocolate, and some with handmade strawberry jam.

-Are you sure of this…. Muta – his father started to pour some hot water into a glass and drink it directly. His son just looked at his sides and nodded once more. Atlas had tried his best to make his son go back into the…” circle” of singles of the village. Looking for a wife for his only son and someone at least stable.

-Muta…you do not need to pity her

-I don’t pity her. I know she is doing alright. She is…progressing. The doctors said so – Atlas sighted and smashed the counter making it shake

-Muta

-Father. I know what I am doing. 

-She just said that but as things are she could just not choose you once she is…fine

-I don’t care. – The young lad looked severe at his father – I don’t care father. I… I just want to see her smile and I don’t mind, care or… I just want to be close to her, just believe me her smile is worthy.

-Is it? Is it worthy for you to lose your time as you do chase some lunatic?

-She is not crazy

-For fuck’s sake she tried to kill herself!

-And you and uncle knew that she was ill and did nothing

-So, did you.

-I tried father! – Shouted – I really tried… - Muta held back his tears – I really tried and only we know how much we tried – mentioned his hive too – We tried father. Everything that came to mind, every single chance that I got I took it. But she was broken, she was shattered. The council let that happen.

-The council had nothing to do with this

-You, old farts, knew what that man was doing right in front of your noses! You all knew and did nothing.

-It is not that easy. Nobody has the right to get into a home’s quarrels.

-Yet the council interferes when sees it fitting, don’t they? Everyone hated them here; you guys saw him selling her daughter as a chance to get rid of those two venoms and yet you have the nerve to say that you did everything you could? She was sold and you saw it as a solution. You, all of you, could have solve this way sooner, and yet you kept it brushing it under the carpet as nothing was happening. She could have died.

-Her hive

-Her hive? What are you going to say, uh? That it protected her. I clearly remember the mess that she was in, she abandoned any substance to feed her body that’s what kept the…knife…out of her…not the hive…- Muta tried to not break in front of his father, once more; bitter memories of the mess that he encountered. Her mind completely gone, into another dimension, place, universe where she was trying to not suffer. Her rigor cadaveric make her look as if she was already dead, but the small warmth that escape her lips kept him secure that life was still beating inside her.

-I have things to do – sentence the conversation the young lad. He finished packaging the small box and took his things with himself. Cursing upon the pain that his lost limb was giving to him. He left the compound and marched towards the ward, where Reina was held. The closer he got, the faster his breath seemed to run out. He was on time, too much in time. They left him waiting until the clock run enough for him to come in.

-Are you ready? – The soft voice startled Reina, Chokako one of the doctor’s there, knocked on her door. She kept trying her hardest to comb her hair the best she could. She really should take a little bit of more care upon her image; it only came to her mind that she should do that when she decided to see Muta. She found that her hair was a mess of knots and tangles, the doctor came by and tried to help her detangled some of it – We do not have much time Reina…try to do a braid it would camouflage it a little bit – Reina sighted. “How you do one of those?” she had never had her hair as long as at that moment. She tried her best twisted her hair trying to make it and it ended up with even a messier hair than before. Another knock on the door, she should be on the hallway now waiting for her visit. She looked at her huge messy braid, her heart racing ashamed of been seen like that. She took the small pot and crunch her hands on it, keeping it firm in her grip. She looked at the small hand mirror, a mess, not what she was expecting to show him; proof that she was better, healthier and lively; instead, her hair was a mess that she was really trying to hide it, she needed to wear those pyjamas however, she put her finest one. She gulped and looked at the doors of the hallway, patients were already greeting their visitors. Among the multitude she saw him, his tall figure towering the rest of patients and visitors. She raised her hand and wave timidly; he waved back and approached her; he had a small box with him and tried to not show his limping as much as possible. He got closer to her and smile, a painful card dangling in his cloths read “Visitor”. She wished that instead of him visiting her it was more of a…date thing. Maybe going shopping, or to have some snacks in a cafeteria…she craved being out there.

-Hi

-Hi – then silence. Reina was trembling, she looked at her feet trying to find something to say.

-I like your braid – said with a small smile Muta and ventured to get near her to touch it

-I…I don’t think so

-What?

-The braid….is a mess I…tried but I couldn’t, and it was already too late, and you were here, and…

-Hey, hey, hey … he got closer – Don’t worry…I like it, really – he let hiss hand rest on her shoulder, he raised his eyebrows and let his smile get wider; she did not flinch nor stepped back. His rosy cheeks were shining to her with such intensity and warmth that he felt a slight headache, as if he was getting some fever.

-What do you want to do? – asked the gal thrilling by the fact that he could rest his hand closer to her without her jumping or fearing him. She looked everywhere, full of doubts, what was she supposed to do?

-Garden… -she finally looked at his face, she was glowing – Let’s go to the garden. It is not as big as the compounds nor as your father’s garden- Muta smiled, his branch oversaw the area secure where the bugs roamed free, his home, or better said his father’s; was at the entrance so the family could check who goes in and out. The lad nodded and followed her to the garden. She suddenly, hold his hand and guide him towards the north area, there some trees stood tall and provide shadow from the heat. She shrugged – Would you like to…sit, here? We …- her hand detangled her fingers out of him and returned to her messy braid she kept playing with it. Muta laid his back towards the tree and let himself go down, he sat with his prothesis completely stretched out. She sat in front of him, closer with her legs folded. He let the box near him, she trembled.

-Would you like me to fix your hair?

-Eh?

-I can fixed it…if you want to -she got closer to him and showed him her back. She got closer sitting between his legs; he took the tied of and started to caress her hair with his fingers. In complete silence he started to detangle her hair with his own fingers, trying to be as smooth and gentle as the knots let him. Sometimes she let a small cry and he apologised, she just smiled back. It felt like heaven. His hive started to sing for her, a gentle buzzing. Some started to move towards his fingers trying to find solace in her hair. She looked at them dancing in front of her – Sorry – muttered the man, ashamed that he couldn’t fully control them, although he did not want too either. She raised her hand and let the bugs dance in the palm of her hand – Hi…- muttered to his bugs. He smiled and kept working on her hair.

-Those are Ma, Me, Mi and Mo – said

-Nice to meet you – Reina let them run free around her fingers, he suddenly felt some unfamiliar steps near his nose. – It is Emerald – said in a whisper – Hi…- greet the gal. She looked at him – I have made some friends here…- He gently caress her scalp while detangling her hair and hearing her. She let her hand touch the grass. Among the bushes some insect seemed to receive the order and started to approach them. Muta looked curious, it was an orchid mantis, with bright pink colours. The insect went to Reina’s hand and there it kind of sat calmly, she let it on Muta’s thigh, and it started to crawl towards his torso -Hi… - he looked at the insect curious – Apparently, she is from the compounds.

-Really? – she nodded

-But… She does not know how she ended here.

- I’ll take her back -ventured Muta before she finished

-Thank you… - Reina looked back at his kikaichu dancing and get them closer to her face. One of them ventured to give her a small kiss in her lips. She let a smirk and kissed the insect back; it did not expect that reaction from her and started to dance almost as if it was drunk around them. Muta looked curious at his insect and called them to his palm, the bug started to tap on his palm confessing what just happened and he laughed, a pure laugh. He kept working on her hair, letting some “brushed” strands of her hair lay in front of her. She kept getting closer to him, needing his buzzing near her, the small chant that his bugs were doing grew louder every time she tried to get closer to him. He started to pick up some notes, some of her notes; something that he had never heard of. It was a blessing. Her song was small and timid, like the small flattering of the wings of a butterfly. He sounded like the roar of a hoard of bees making the sweetest of treats. Half of her hair was already prepared. He ventured to touch her shoulders to get her closer to his torso, she let finally her back rest on his torso.

-Now I can’t work properly – tittered. She separated herself from him, but he kept her closer. Half of her hair completely brushed off was on her right side, her left side need to keep working. He let the hair there – Don’t worry I can do it.

-But…does it bother you?

-It doesn’t – he was thrilled to have her so close to him, and the redness of her cheek confirmed that she also wanted to be closer to him too. 

-How are things going?

-Do you mean…

-Yeah, your father…uncle…cousins everyone, are they okay?

-Hmm

-I…

-Don’t say anything

-Please Muta, apologise for me

-They know that already, Reina. You do not need to send apologies to them…nor me in every letter that you write.

-But…

-Stop Reina – he touched her shoulders and faced her

-You do not need to feel sorry for anything

-But I …I made a huge mess. I treat you and them horrible. Your family just welcomed me greatly and I just mess things out a lot.

-Reina… please stop with that already – He touched both of her shoulders and smile at her

-Really…we are just glad that you are better – She felt her heart twitch and her blood froze in her veins. She got closer to him and cuddle in his torso, he did not know what to do. He felt his heart race furiously, he just wanted to hug her tightly to his chest, close his eyes and forget where they were, what had happened everything…just inhale her sweet aroma and care for her. He just wanted to protect her, from herself.

[branch-wdk53]

Based on a dream I had, in which Reinhardt goes out and tries to find Haru after she’s been gone for 10-ish years

At some point, Haru was having a mental breakdown over the whole “left eye becoming her instincts”, and so Reinhardt, wanting to be the helpful guy that he is, offers to give his own left eye to her. Which she accepts(?)

Later, the City is almost in ruins. Just outside the City, Reinhardt has a chat with Haru. He states that he’s going to send Haru far, far away. He isn’t sure exactly where, but at least somewhere away from the City. Haru was more reluctant to leave all of her friends, but trusts Reinhardt’s judgment. Just that, he planned to also erase Haru’s memories of the City and what transpired there, including himself and their colleagues. Something about “nothing good will come out of remembering him”. But says that “Maybe if I get lonely, I’ll come searching for you.”

And so, Reinhardt teleports Haru away, then walks back into the City. At least, what remains of the City.

Almost everyone else was dead. Only some remnants of souls stayed around (most notably Ryn, cuz I guess his relation to Reinhardt). Unbeknownst to both of them, many of their dead colleagues put their hope into Haru, which made her quite powerful or something.

10 years passed. Haru lived somewhat peacefully, while Reinhardt roamed the streets of the City. Most of the souls looked greyscale and barely emote. Haru, despite not remembering the City, kept getting visions in her dreams of Reinhardt vaguely monologuing to himself.

(Gonna call the place that Haru lived in the “Megalopolis”, but it’s really vague and didn’t actually have a name .<.)

Something happened, in which Haru indirectly caused an Ending C. I think a beam of light shot into the sky and the sky broke? The Megalopolis becomes infested with monsters/Abnormalities anyhow.

A year passed in that hell-ish condition. Until one day, Haru went back to the place where she caused the event. This time, Finn was standing there. He offers a deal to her: Because of both of their strong connections to Whitenight, Finn can become the new Whitenight and restore balance, rewinding time and preventing this calamity from happening. All that needs to be done is that Haru will become Finn’s Apostle, giving him the power to put the deal into action. Haru agrees, and they shake hands.

Time rewinds. On that day, when the light should've been activated... Nothing happens. Reinhardt felt a chill, but thought nothing of it.

A year passes. Everything was going well, nothing really changing. Until a certain day, in which Haru goes missing. No matter where people looked, there was no trace of where Haru went. Only what she left behind, which isn’t much. Reinhardt felt a sting that time- that something terrible happened.

Deciding that it’s about time he goes searching for Haru, he dons a cloak, and travels. Thanks to the fact that Haru has his eye, he has the slightest hint of the direction she is. So he travels. And travels.

Once he arrived at the Megalopolis, he’s surprised to see so many people condensed into this one city once again. Mentally preparing himself, Reinhardt heads deeper into the Megalopolis.

After a good a while of walking, he came across a library. Entering, he meets a librarian.

(The dream never specified who this librarian was, just someone that Haru knew)

When Reinhardt pulled down the hood from his cloak, the librarian immediately noticed- the same darkened iris that was filled with despair. The same one Haru’s left eye was like. And seeing that this man has a missing left eye, this couldn’t be a coincidence.

And so, the librarian bluntly asked him- “Do you know someone named Haru by chance?”

Reinhardt got them to confirm that they both were thinking the same person. Green hair, green right eye, black left eye, etc. Reinhardt simply states that he was searching for Haru, with the librarian responding that she recently went missing. Reinhardt was quiet for a moment, then thanked him for the info, promptly leaving.

To be continued… maybe.

[witchcatyoshiko]

“Ah, my child, I will forgive the slip of pleasantries and not count that as your question,” you raised your palm to the young woman in front of you, often those from habitual etiquette would start with such a question then cringe, worrying and pleading for another question. It was nice that such things were so ingrained into people that they would break the initial silence with such things. The whining after was rather grating so you would try to stop it before it started. You let your hand drop once more, pleating your fingers together under the thick cloth you had folded on your lap.

In the beginning you had worked hard to look regal, wearing only the tribal beads and adornments you’d originally trekked to the mountain top with but, the fact of the matter was, it’s very cold on a mountain top. So through the years you’d collected pretty blankets left from travelers and folded them around yourself like a purposeful priest robe. You smiled softly thinking of how lovely the blue of the blanket on your lap went with your “color wheel” as you’d read it in the book someone had left behind. There had been quite a bit of new ideas in that book, a window into the world far below. Of course the intense visions you got periodically also made sure you stayed in touch with the on goings of the world, you liked the books better. They were definitely less taxing on the brain.

The woman waved her hands widely, her brows knit together but her mouth breaking into a smile, “what? No no that really was my question.” She paused, looking at you expectantly but you stared back with confusion. Her eyes slowly widened, silence closing in once more, she began to make popping noises with her lips. Suddenly she shuffled, going from sitting on her legs to leaning on her side, propped up on one arm, the other expressing to the sky above her, “you see I was talking to my nephew about you, he’s very small. Not sure how old. Like one of those young ages. Like 2 or 12, probably not 12.” She chewed her lip a moment in thought then went back to her waving, “Anyway, we had got to talking about you, I don’t know. I think I mentioned you when he showed me his mashed potato mountain with a lil fried chicken bit on top and I just went ‘Oh is that the prophet?’ And he asked ‘who?’ And I said, you know the prophet guy who answers questions and so we went into it with all the questions he asks.” She made a blathering noise, rolling her hand from her mouth like she was spewing up words as she rolled her eyes, “Well anyways, as those infants do, he ran me into a corner where I just couldn’t answer. He asked ‘does anyone ask the prophet how he’s doing?’ And I said probably not because everyone has things they have to ask about and no one’s going to get all the way up there and ask how he’s doing cuz he’s probably going to say he’s fine or whatever cuz you know, no one just spews out everything to strangers when they just ask ‘how you doing?’ You’re supposed to just say fine and get on with your shopping, Nate!” She huffed, crossing her eyes and shifting to her other side, using her opposite hands to prop herself up and continue expressing, “The kid is relentless. Auntie it’s not right. Auntie someone should ask. So what if he says he’s fine. You talk a lot maybe he will too. Auntie you tell me to talk it out. You always listen to my day. So what if he’s on a mountain and only sees trees, he can have a favorite. What if a bird came by or a squirrel did a funny thing and he’s got no one to tell it to. How do you know if people chat with him after they ask their question? What if he said something they didn’t like and they just leave after yelling at him?” She rolled her hand in front of her mouth again, her voice had begun to drone in a higher pitched voice as if she were mocking the child, “You don’t have a job, you should go see him and chat. You don’t do anything anyways.” She began to gag, mock choking herself. She sat up suddenly, crossing her legs like you and cracking her neck. She pointed, “I am not unemployed. I developed tech for my uncle when I was young and we sold it. Now I just make update tech for it and I can work my own hours.” She shook her head, “but try to tell that to a kid while your brother in law works 9-5 and grumbles about you always hanging around the house eating your sister’s home-cooking.” She shrugged, “I paid for the house and my sister is a great cook. Why should I have to pretend for him?” She settled into a moody slump and silence closed around again.

You stared at her. After a few moments she began to fiddle with her pants, there seemed to be a new tear in them that she’d just noticed. You tried to hold back but you couldn’t anymore, you laughed. You laughed so hard you began to wheeze, rocking forward and back until you slipped back too far and fell backward onto your bundle of pillows. When you finally started to settle down you could hear her speaking again, “I’m not lying. The dude is broken. You broke him with your question, Nate. Not cool. Do you know how far I traveled to break a man? I’m like an assassin now. I’m gonna have to take his place like friggin Santa. I don’t know the first thing about making prophecies. No, you can’t be my elf. You have school on Monday. That’s not how time zones work and you know it.” You lifted yourself to see the woman glaring at her phone with one ear piece in. She looked up, “oh he’s up. I’ll call you back. No you can’t talk to him. I’m not letting you waste your one question on ‘what’s your favorite color?’ No that’s totally what you’d ask. Ok what would you ask? You know what, never mind I’m getting a lot of eye contact here. I’m calling you back. Bye. BYE!” She mocked anger and rolled her eyes, “Yea I love you too. Tell your mom to mail me that lasagna. No not leftovers, the exact slice on your plate. I’m eating that.” She made kissy faces at the phone, breaking into a bright smile, “love you, butt munch.” She hung up and removed the earpiece. “Sorry.” She said looking very much unapologetic as she tucked her phone away.

You pointed at the phone, “that…” you began.

She took the phone out again, “this? It’s a phone. I know you’ve been up here a while but weird you haven’t seen one from people, thought they’d take pictures or something. Uh,” she put the phone to her ear, “it’s like a way to talk to people far away.” She looked at her phone, “I had to rig mine so the brat could reach me out here. He said I could just fake it if I didn’t call while I was with you. I mean, honestly, I could probably fake it either way but ya know… “she shrugged tucking away the phone, “I had the time.”

You stared again. The utter shock was too much but she opened her mouth again and you feared she’d go into another rant so you quickly spoke up, “Can you do a phone for me too?”

She closed her open mouth then smiled, the wicked glint in here eye enhanced by the playful kid’s song playing from her phone. She answered the phone without breaking eye contact, clicking the speaker button, “Nate, guess who’s answering questions now?”

A young boy’s voice rose from the phone, “Mom says if you’re Santa now you can have your elves make you lasagna”

You have been a mountaintop prophet for 1,000 years. Each person only gets one question and you’re sure you’ve heard every question that can be asked. Until one day someone uses their one question to ask, “How are you doing?”

[twinsloveco]

I never wanted him to see me naked after I was with you

I never wanted him in the God damn room..

I literally fucking fought almost crying begging plz ALONE WHILE YOU JUST SAT THERE COLD AND GIGGLED A BIT AND WOULDNT HELP and you said he can come in cuz YOU felt bad then I felt bad ..ugh ITS MY ROOM I SAID NO?? WHY IF YOU LOVE ME YOUD LET HIM PUSH PAST ME AND HURT ME NIT EVEN ASK IF IM OKAY it hurt.

But at least when I asked if we can at least make sure im hidden and we are under the blanket you did that.. you guarded me.

You glared at the door when we thought someone was gonna come in on us doing stuff and u made sure I was hidden and it was closed and your face said you fucking try anything on my lucifer I'll start a riot...

🥺❤️‍🔥👉👈... that stays in my mind slot.

[But so does you kissing him and saying I love you baby you asking first right infront of me and everyone saying I'm just your friend shattered something in me idk I'll ever get back.. with the excuse oh so long and bd it's normal it's not.. my sister doesn't call her bd baby.. I dropped that shit instantly once I moved on from my ex of 6plus years... but I went with it.. I should have argued more tbh]

When I went away to cry it's because I seen you posted that you don't need my crying rn and it was me crying cuz you said we will be separated again for a bit and you'll be sad .. broke my heart .. so I went to hide my tears from u so you wouldn't be bothered and u couldn't be bothered to come to me ..Adam said he did he brought the flowers .. that u didn't care and didn't want to come find me.

I walked in with you naked infront of him and it felt like yall almost wouldn't unlock the door ... I felt abandoned alone excluded made a joke of as you all kept running off laughing together leave me behind even my sister asked and tahtz when it hit me and she said they ain't your real friends bro... well she also wasn't a very real sister either soo.. 🤷

I heard you say Lus gonna be so mad when he finds out what we did hehe oops..

And something snapped in me I heard a voice say: they fucked !! Fuck it!!! Fuck love fuck it all!!! Grr .. I cried myself to sleep a bit.

[I realize now Adam's souls voice in my head a LOT to fuck with me ugh...]

She's the one who told me you were likely cheating with one the two exes and that their the ones you're holding out for and I'm like no no he says it isn't like that they stay seperate and stuff just friends like me and adam... Adam sent me a ss where he said otherwise..that your relationship was good and you cuddle every night .. ouch...

I seen on my birthday you and him posting baby flirting saying you never loved anyone else that way ever and never will or something like that ..more ouch ... so that's where you went as I cried alone on my b day? I just wanted a damn hour even with you..

You didn't realize I fell asleep with your chat open with the phone close to my heart to feel closer to you , crying myself asleep waiting all day.. you didn't realize how shit is small hit by small hit add up for me...

I hid so much of my pain for you .. I was like no I need to put him and his needs first...

I couldn't contain it though.. the visions of seeing and feeling you having sex with someone else for months before proven irl I was always sick and hurting deep dark pulling heart pain sinking in my stomach in silence .. choosing to believe in you at all costs I never would have even allowed cheating or poly for anyone else but I was so willing to grow past that ego thing and just love you as you wanted to be ... I just wanted no one else but myselfes. I run to self love when I feel I have no one else my dude...

That..

I saw a life together marriage and house and 1 kid.. and the animals.. Adam gone in his own place and me only interacting with him when you allowed it as a friend at arms length.... we went over and gamed with him one time.. but other than that he was out.

I was gonna help him get a car and move out and me get financially independent and secure again so he had no more hold over me

Oops that upset you too sighs... I'm sorry.